Well, truth be told -- he didn't. He started to but then he got distracted by the chicken going the opposite direction and they decided to spend some quality time together.
My neighbor calls a little while ago and asks "Is Tom home yet?".
Me: "No, but he's on his way. What's up?".
Neighbor: "You should call him and tell him if he's not careful, the chicken police will come after him?"
Me: "The what?".
Neighbor: "The chicken police. There are two chickens nesting in the middle of the road and with all the snow, you can barely see them."
Me: "Uh, ok. They're just sitting there?".
Me: "For how long?"
Neighbor: "All day."
Me: "But it's freezing out.".
Neighbor: "Which reminds me... what are you guys doing for dinner tomorrow? By morning, we might have some frozen poultry that needs pluckin'."